Don’t Just Toss That Old Phone, Murder It! (Or not)
By Ashley Davies
Cell phones. Why is it the second you buy one, the latest and greatest version comes out THE NEXT DAY. Well, that’s what it feels like anyway. The iPhone 5 came out in September 2012, and the updated iPhone 5S will hit stores in time for Christmas shopping. But there’s already talks of the iPhone 6 coming out in 2014! Just when you think you have the best Apple device, the an arguably better phone comes to the light and takes over. The perfect example can be seen in the Samsung Galaxy vs. iPhone vs. the Window’s phone vs. the new Blackberry, and so on and so on. It just seems like you can’t win.
And when you do get a phone, you’re stuck with it until that one, two, or eight year contract is over. You’re fully committed to the phone you signed up with (unless you’re totally OK with paying retail price for a new phone, which is just absurd). But that’s how companies get you.
So when the longest two years of your life is over and you finally get to update your outdated, piece of junk cellphone, what should you do with it? Donate it to a great cause? Smash it with your car? Keep it in your junk drawer just in case the phone you just got sucks worse than your previous one? Here are some fantastic ideas. Head on past the break for a full load of fantasy cell phone destruction!
NOTE: Whatever you do, wipe the memory before you start. On a list of identity theft types, the personal information on your phone is just one way thieves steal information.
Run it Over With Your Car
Waiting for your upgrade has been torturous. Your friends have taunted and teased you with their phones and now you can finally get rid of your old phone. What better way than to demolish it with your car. Better yet, have a friend record you running over your old device with your new phone.
Throw it in Your Blender
Tom Dickson from Will it Blend? throws an iPhone 4S into his Blendtec Total Blender, which pulverizes the phone. Answer…yes, the smartphone WILL blend. You will be giddy with excitement as you watch your phone turn to dust and ash.
Use it as a Clay Pigeon
Have you been meaning to brush up on your shooting skills? Take the old brick to your designated shooting area and use it as your clay pigeon. How many times can you shoot it before it’s demolished? If you’ve got a good shot, it shouldn’t be more than one, so hit it like you mean it.
Here batter, batter, batter. Use that trust wooden bat and take your phone for some batting practice. Take hints from the video below: Keep retrieving the phone and hit it as many times as you can before it falls to pieces.
Send it to Space
Strap your old phone and tie it to a rocket. Light fuse and run to safety. Then watch it shoot into the sky, never to be seen again! Or savor the goodbye and string that baby to a balloon and watch it slowly but surely float away. Good riddance!
Submerge it in Water
Early on you were taught to NEVER place your phone in or near water. Well, break the rules and send your phone into the depths. (4) Bonus points if an unknowing friend attempts to rescue it for you or gets swallowed by a giant sea creature.
Disclaimer: The above article is very much tongue in cheek. While it’d be fun (and possibly hilarious) to utterly annihilate your old phone, All That Nerdy Stuff asks you to remember to dispose of your electronics responsibly, via an appropriate electronics recycling facility)