Even stuffed animals bag on Far Cry 3

I Am Stuffed Monkey, I Play Far Cry 3!
My photo

Dear Ubisoft.

I have been playing Far Cry 3 for some time now.  A friend (unstuffed) preordered the game for me as a gift, and I managed to get the one with the, *ahem* ‘exploding monkeys’. I must say, your treatment of primates here is nearly deplorable, as we would never be so foolish as to let ourselves be roped into such a situation, as we refuse to even carry a gun.

Nonetheless, the game has its moments of fun, especially when helping all the dumb hoomans bots to explode or get are hurted by bullets and cry a lot. I am especially fond of all the swearing, as I never get to do any of that myself. And hey, those people are bots/fake anyway, so who really cares? I do notice they have this odd habit of returning to get me if I turn the game off, and then back on. Not like real hoomans, who either keep chasing and imprison me, or just give up. I have tried to use a pretend gun to do stuff like in the game, and it doesn’t work the same at all. But a nice officer did threaten me severely if I didn’t stop waving my fisted index finger around like a gun.

The “sandbox” map editor is junk! I already know where all the crocodiles are!!! What fun is that?  The co-op requires too many people to play…do you know how difficult it is to get 3 other chimps to cooperate on Xbox LIVE?  I’m not so sure someone thought this through. And, the main campaign is a drag. Seriously…it’s not primate oriented at all, and mostly what I feel is pushed from one linear situation to the next. I feel more like a rat in a maze looking for stale (very stale!!!!) cheese. Why would you put so much effort into designing a game for rats? Is the market segment that large?

Well, anyway. I’m off to the local gameslop to shop for a new game. I did all the stuff on the first main map, and got bored with the stupid campaign, so I am selling it to buy something fun. Gameslop says I can get $3 towards a new game!!!.

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